Explore the Inner potential
It was a wonderful winter morning, I finished my morning workout and was glancing through news, I received a call from my friend and colleague, for referring a case to me. I heard a brief of case and asked him to share my office contact details for an appointment.
Next day the first appointment was scheduled for him Mr Andre Darius aka AD as his friends call him. I was in office earlier than usual, they were waiting; parents of AD. As they walked in to the cabin and greeted; they introduced themselves as parents of AD. I asked them why he didn’t accompany. They started they very reason he needed a session is why we didn’t bring him along.
Andy; as his mother affectionately called him, his mother continued, was a very nice boy till grade 8. He was good in studies, so was he in music and other co curricular activities. It didn’t take much for things to take a U turn. He started dropping in his grades, and stopped participating in the competitions at school. He was irritable and aloof. Initially we thought it was Hormonal storm of teenager as his voice turned husky. But his grades went on dropping, so badly that he was hardly clearing any exams. We had moved here from Romania when he was in 6, we were trying to correlate and make ourselves comfortable. We were called in to his school for multiple times for his aggressive behaviours.
Before it all happened he was very jovial guy. Even at school and at home. As soon as he reaches back from school, the atmosphere get charged up, along with his brother they did give me tough time, being naughty but there was a lot of energy in him. But with his grades this dropped as well. He spends his time in his room. He will be out with his friends. We allowed it as he was growing. But the more he turned aloof it got us worried. With the aggressive behaviour we thought we should get him some help. We took him for counselling to a psychologist, after repeated sessions it wasn’t helping him. We got more concerned, we were clueless what to do. And now then he didn’t want to do further sessions as he said He isn’t crazy. And during the last session he attended he was very aggressive with the counsellor. We really don’t know what is happening.
Now for last 3 yrs he is into smoking and consuming alcohol, though we were fine with it initially, but the frequency increased to daily in alcohol consumption. He comes home late; spend most of time with his friends. Since his grades dropped significantly we couldn’t get him through for any University courses. He got him done with a vocational certification programme on safety. His uncle suggested the course as he was HR in a multinational construction company and in right time will recruit him too. A year after course he wasn’t recruited, and that started making his behaviour drop few more points. He would blame us for asking him to do the course, and he started using abusive language at home.
As his uncle didn’t recruit him, we found a job for him in nearby city. Though not far with the nature of job he couldn’t do up and down on regular basis. He had to stay at company accommodation. He was fine for few days and later he started showing a new symptom. He expressed it as fear. He said he is missing home and couldn’t stay at that place. He came back by 3rd day, we forcefully sent him back as we felt he was being lazy to work. Let me be true we also were in need of some extra cash, but he didn’t complete the month and he was home, doing nothing. Since then he isn’t ready for any session or treatment. He spends his time at home inside his room. My husband retired last year and my younger son is doing his University we are in a financially tricky state too. As she concluded she was crying bitterly.
To do anything further i needed to hear AD, and so was conveyed to them, Being a doctor psychologist and coach I had to find out of box way to crack it. He wasn’t ready to come to my office for a session, so I decided to meet him outside for a casual talk. We developed a rapport and that led to have kosher scheduled sessions with him.
With continuous sessions we were able to identify the repressed experiences from his teacher during his high school days, Back in grade 7th grade his Russian teacher had insulted him multiple times on an incident in school, though he wasn’t directly involved in it. This made his feel he is always wrong and worthless. He had guilt implanted in him.
While one on one Coaching sessions helped uncover the repressed emotions and explore his real potential, REBT sessions rationalised his fears and negative thoughts, and it took time as we unplugged AD to his fullest potential. Today AD is a HSE officer in a reputed MNC, married and having a baby.
As a Coach it was challenging to explore the true potential with in AD and it took longer than usual time, what helped was the skill as psychologist here. At our Transformational academy we our programs for kids like Mind n Muscle is designed to develop right attitude at early age. As they say prevention is better than cure, these programmes can help kids to develop right attitude and prevent losing years like AD did.
To know more about our programs for Kids, Click the link below
